good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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