It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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