I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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