Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
