Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
