The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
