i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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