Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
