when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
