I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize