Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
