I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
