She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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