I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
