Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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