i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
