Welp...herpes.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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