Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
