I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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