Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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