it wasn't lemon gatorade
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My vagina just recognized that song.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
my poor anus
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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