sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
