Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
