I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Semen is not good for contacts.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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