SEEEEXXX PLEASE
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
