David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
two words: eviction party
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
