So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize