pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm always down for nudity.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
