Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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