I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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