Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
