Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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