what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
