I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
