Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
