she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
