Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
