I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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