Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
