I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
