drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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