Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
