stop calling my apartment porn island.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
