did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
