It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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