If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
