I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize