Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize