so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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