i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
