Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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