if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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