i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
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