Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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