im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
