I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
