I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
