If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
