No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She bit a glass in half.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
