So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
