That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
